Marks of a True Christian.

I sit here convicted because this is what God wants my life to look like:

 ⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
 ¹⁴Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
 ¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. ²⁰On the contrary:
   "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
      if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
   In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." ²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21

i want my life to look like this too. i pray my life looks like this.

because love does that.

here is a beautiful poem I was given last week.

Love Does That
By Rumi

All day long a little burro labors, sometimes
with heavy loads on her back and sometmes just with worries
about things that bother only burros,

And worries, as we know, can be more exausting
than physical labor.

Once in a while a kind monk comes
to her stable and brings
a pear, but more
than that,

he looks into the burro's eyes and touches her ears

and for a few seconds the burro is free
and even seems to laugh,

because love does
that.

Love frees.

sometimes i sing...

i like this song. and i got a glockenspiel, so i made some music...

Dance, Dance, Dance by Lykke Li 
                                                                 (just follow this^ little link)

Covered By Me.

A Resolution.

To resolve is to deal with successfully {via webster dictionary}. I know, this is a stereotypical way of starting any piece of writing, but I wanted to know what it really meant to resolve in the context implied by a new years resolution.

I read a blog two days ago about how there is no significance in the fact that there is a new year. It argued that it is just like any other day and there was no need to stress out making resolutions we are just going to fail at, etc. It proceeded to quote Ben Gibbard lyrics like they were absolute truth. For a second it resonated with me, then it left a sour taste in my mouth. The reason we fail at our resolutions reminds us of the fall of man. depravity. the need for outside help.

I think it is important to have points in life that remind us to reflect: to reflect on the last year, and to see what we want to improve on in the future. For some people, this is the only time they take to reflect.

Today in church we were asked to make a commitment to being more devoted to God's word. The front of the church had a bunch of bread for us to go up and rip off a piece as a symbol of our devotion to allowing God's word abundantly fill us. Initially, I hated this idea and had no plan to go up and grab a piece of bread... In High School and Jr. High, every retreat I went on I was asked to make a commitment to do something, which I most often failed in. Thus, leaving me with a bad feeling when it comes to making an almost forced decisions... But then I got this spark of hope and had a cool train of thought. I am fixed on the Lord. Nothing will change that. I have confidence in saying that. I know I will end this year closer to the Lord than I am now because I know this is something God wants for me, and I want it enough to make the efforts toward that desire.

My Resolution for 2010 is to become a Christian Hedonist. To be sold out for delighting in the Lord.

My challenges foreseen: Singleness for the Spring {a completely single mindset- this has already been challenging} and Oman {a huge step out of the comfort zone}

Reflections of 2009:

God took me. Stretched me. Taught and is still teaching me what it means suffer and cling to Him. Challenged to be more discipline. Worked in my heart clarity in his design for my life. He continued to make me passionate for youth and music. He forced me to spend ten+ hours in silence and solitude, while fasting. He asked me to trust him and I'm doing my best at doing that. He challenged me to expect great things from him and reminded me of how much he loves giving good things to his children.

I am not who I was yesterday, and I am not who I am going to be tomorrow because God is at work in my heart. I will experience his new mercies every day.

this is what my heart feels like:

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
-Ecclesiastes 3:11

no answers, just peace.

I'm done praying for answers.

I don't need to know answers.

But, I do need peace. This is where I have hope, in a peace that transcends all understanding. Sometimes God puts things in our lives for us not to know the answers to, but He still has a purpose. A beautiful, wonderful, personally designed purpose that he works together for good. Even if I mess up and do something bad -which is far too common- God will still work things together for good, just because He loves.

I pray that in any season, I experience God's peace. I pray that I experience it in the core of my being. I pray that I take my eyes off my human perspective on things and just rest in God's love. I pray that my life be a reflection of Christ to the highest regard. I pray that I live a life that is true to everything I profess. I pray that my thought life echo the thoughts of a person madly in LOVE with Christ.

I keep thinking that I would like to see a glimpse of 2010 Paige on November 29th and know the results of that with which I am waiting on. I told this to my roommate and she said she felt the same way one year ago and she is glad she did not get a glimpse because she would not be fully vindicated. With God's peace, I will not continue this thought.

Peace is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us undeserving humans.

I don't need to know answers.

I had this half awake dream last night, sort of an out-of-body experience. I kept feeling my skin and my four blankets. As I was doing this, I decided that I must write a book called God Is Real. It was almost like I was experiencing general revelation in a half-awake state. I wanted others to experience God as I have, and I was reminded of this by the sensation of my blankets on my skin. One day I might write a book, and maybe it can be about knowing God is real through experiencing peace.

Connectedness.

“I have a piece of wisdom. I don’t have much of it,

but what I do have is real”
–unknown