Sun City, AZ

Sun City, Arizona is home to my grandparents, who are arguably two of the most wonderful people who have walked the face of this planet… Gamey and Pop-Pop. The last three days they have taken in my roommate, her mentor (my new friend) and I. No, the people in this picture are not my grandparents, but my Pops often wears a hat that resembles the one pictured above.

While I was there, I spent some time thinking about how much I do not anticipate living in a retirement community. I kept thinking about how hard it would be to deal with the reality that every person you build a friendship with either attends your funeral or you attend theirs. Pesemistic, I know, but I felt burdened by that. Then, I remembered a conversation we had at the dinner table the first night of our arrival.

As I was cutting into my steak, Pop-pop began talking about his friend who became a Christian two years ago and how this man has led 68 people to the Lord ever since, all on the golf course. As Pop described how the Lord softened this man’s heart, his voice became slightly louder and more certain. His speech declared the reverence and affection he has for the Gospel. After talking about his friend, he began to talk about Gamey, he lights up when he talks about his wife. My Gamey is constantly showing hospitality toward her community and getting to know all those who live on her street, so she can tell them the Good News of Jesus Christ. He spoke of how everything Gamey does is done with the hope of telling someone about God’s love for them. Gamey doesn’t just talk about God’s love, although she displays it pretty well. She talks boldly about the problem of evil, the conquering of sin in Jesus’ death on the cross, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ that fully displays God’s glory.

I feel like it is easy to speak of God’s love. The world makes it okay to speak of God’s love because it is a safe term and not explicitly Christian. Do not get me wrong, Gods love is good and it is real and it is beautiful. But I felt convicted about the need to clearly explain the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My grandparents inspire me to speak about more than just the stuff that is easy to digest. They inspire me to make the Gospel my everything and to go out and spread it more often.

I pray that I am like them one day: madly in love with each other but first with the Lord, always seeking the expansion of the Kingdom, a deep desire to serve others and the ability to serve the Lord wherever they are at. 

I hope you get to meet them one day. If not on Earth, let it be in Heaven.

i like these.

all these pictures via other blogs.

Bodies and Brains

I have these two friends who are always in touch with what is going on inside of themselves. Not just their emotions, but down to the core of the way their bodies work. This probably sounds weird, but whenever one of them has something wrong, they can pinpoint the exact time it started and the direct cause of their discomfort. Not only do they know what is wrong, but they know what to do to make it better.

I, on the other hand, am not this way. Emotions, I figure out, but the body is antother world for me. I get a headache, and I have no clue what to do or the source of where it is coming from. This stems from the fact that I do not have a proper knowledge of myself, with regards to what is going on inside. I have basic health class knowledge, but only enough to make semi-educated guesses. Even with this, I do not know enough to trust my personal opinion on my health.

The reason I state this information is not because I would like to point out the incapabilities I have in knowing my own body. I point this out because I feel this adequately expresses the view I have of the Bible. Here is the parallel in my mind: The Bible, like the human body, has so much importance. As for a body, I have had it my whole life. As for the Bible, I have been raised in the church, and have had one basically my whole life. I have grown up dancing and singing in “Promiseland” (Willow Creek’s children’s ministry). I have been baptized, and have lived a life outwardly dedicated to the Lord, but I do not know Scripture as I would expect sometime in my situation would. I would say that a year ago, I did not even trust what I know about scripture because I was too worried about misinterpretation and even doubted what I knew to be true.

This is where hope jumps in: God is stirring up in me this deep love for his word. I am beginning to understand scripture in ways I never have, and this is supernatural. God is showing me that my past had been so consumed with my own thoughts that I became unhealthily introverted with regards to my thought life. Honestly, I was a girl obsessed with myself and my thoughts. What I have learned is that you cannot trust yourself. But you can trust God’s word. This is the truth. As I have been learning God’s word for real, I have become obsessed with real truth. It is good to be obsessed with God’s word.

Martin Luther suggests to pray that God writes his law on our hearts, as scripture tells us to do. It’s cool because we get to rely on the Lord for this supernatural wisdom for an everlasting truth. Can I get an Amen?

Marks of a True Christian.

I sit here convicted because this is what God wants my life to look like:

 ⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
 ¹⁴Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
 ¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. ²⁰On the contrary:
   "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
      if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
   In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." ²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21

i want my life to look like this too. i pray my life looks like this.

because love does that.

here is a beautiful poem I was given last week.

Love Does That
By Rumi

All day long a little burro labors, sometimes
with heavy loads on her back and sometmes just with worries
about things that bother only burros,

And worries, as we know, can be more exausting
than physical labor.

Once in a while a kind monk comes
to her stable and brings
a pear, but more
than that,

he looks into the burro's eyes and touches her ears

and for a few seconds the burro is free
and even seems to laugh,

because love does
that.

Love frees.

sometimes i sing...

i like this song. and i got a glockenspiel, so i made some music...

Dance, Dance, Dance by Lykke Li 
                                                                 (just follow this^ little link)

Covered By Me.

A Resolution.

To resolve is to deal with successfully {via webster dictionary}. I know, this is a stereotypical way of starting any piece of writing, but I wanted to know what it really meant to resolve in the context implied by a new years resolution.

I read a blog two days ago about how there is no significance in the fact that there is a new year. It argued that it is just like any other day and there was no need to stress out making resolutions we are just going to fail at, etc. It proceeded to quote Ben Gibbard lyrics like they were absolute truth. For a second it resonated with me, then it left a sour taste in my mouth. The reason we fail at our resolutions reminds us of the fall of man. depravity. the need for outside help.

I think it is important to have points in life that remind us to reflect: to reflect on the last year, and to see what we want to improve on in the future. For some people, this is the only time they take to reflect.

Today in church we were asked to make a commitment to being more devoted to God's word. The front of the church had a bunch of bread for us to go up and rip off a piece as a symbol of our devotion to allowing God's word abundantly fill us. Initially, I hated this idea and had no plan to go up and grab a piece of bread... In High School and Jr. High, every retreat I went on I was asked to make a commitment to do something, which I most often failed in. Thus, leaving me with a bad feeling when it comes to making an almost forced decisions... But then I got this spark of hope and had a cool train of thought. I am fixed on the Lord. Nothing will change that. I have confidence in saying that. I know I will end this year closer to the Lord than I am now because I know this is something God wants for me, and I want it enough to make the efforts toward that desire.

My Resolution for 2010 is to become a Christian Hedonist. To be sold out for delighting in the Lord.

My challenges foreseen: Singleness for the Spring {a completely single mindset- this has already been challenging} and Oman {a huge step out of the comfort zone}

Reflections of 2009:

God took me. Stretched me. Taught and is still teaching me what it means suffer and cling to Him. Challenged to be more discipline. Worked in my heart clarity in his design for my life. He continued to make me passionate for youth and music. He forced me to spend ten+ hours in silence and solitude, while fasting. He asked me to trust him and I'm doing my best at doing that. He challenged me to expect great things from him and reminded me of how much he loves giving good things to his children.

I am not who I was yesterday, and I am not who I am going to be tomorrow because God is at work in my heart. I will experience his new mercies every day.